Cathay Crushes the Border Skirmish
A very short game, and a very good one
We had one of those games that ends fast on paper, but still leaves everyone grinning afterwards. This time it was a small border skirmish in Warhammer: The Old World, with Stas commanding Orcs & Goblins and Michał leading Cathay.
And yes — it ended in a decisive Cathayan victory.
The turning point came immediately
According to Stas, the battle basically exploded in the very first turn.
A precise magical shot from the Cathay general smashed into the boar unit and dropped 6 out of 8 boars outright. The two survivors immediately fled in panic, apparently horrified by the way their mates had just died. That is an absolutely brutal opening, and one that set the tone for the rest of the game.
From there, Stas tried to claw things back with the goblins. They surged forward and crashed into a unit of Jade Warriors. They even managed to kill a few, which briefly made it look like the little green lads might actually hold the line.
But that charge came at a price: it exposed the left flank to a Cathayan cavalry attack.
The middle collapsed
The key fight in the center was just as painful for the greenskins. Out of a unit of 25 goblins, 12 died in the clash, and the rest broke and ran. The Jade Lancers tried not to pursue, but failed to restrain themselves in time, thundered after the fleeing goblins, caught them, and wiped the whole unit out.
At that point, only Stas’s orc boyz were left on the battlefield.
We wrapped the game after two full rounds. In Stas’s own words, there was just no way back from there.
Fast game, big fun
The best part is that despite the one-sided result, both sides came away really happy.
Stas called it a mega game and said Michał picked things up incredibly quickly. Michał was equally enthusiastic and said it was a wonderful game — the kind of fun he hadn’t had in a long time.
One thing that clearly stood out for him was the feeling of the units. He described them as fragile, human, and easy to get attached to, which made every casualty matter. When the boys shot down one of his lancers in turn one, it genuinely hurt. And when the shaman started lining up a magical “laser,” there was apparently some very real praying involved.
This is exactly the kind of thing we love in The Old World: even in a small game, the units already feel like they have weight, personality, and stakes.
500 points works — but 1000 might be the sweet spot
One practical takeaway from this game: 500 points seems very playable in about an hour and a half. That is honestly great news for anyone trying to squeeze games into a weekday or get more reps in with a fresh army.
That said, our feeling after this one was still that 1000 points is probably even better if you want a little more room for the game to breathe.
Side effects of the battle
As if the game itself wasn’t enough, it also had one more important result: we nearly convinced Wilini to go in on a battalion after choosing an army. So this skirmish may yet claim more victims — just financially this time.
Meanwhile, Stas seems to have reached a conclusion of his own: he should probably focus on painting more orcs, because there is simply too much fun in TOW to ignore.
Honestly, fair.
Final thoughts
A short game, a catastrophic first turn for the greenskins, a cavalry cleanup in the middle, and a lot of excitement on both sides — this was exactly the kind of battle report we like writing up.
Not because it was close, but because it sounded memorable.
GG, and on to the next one.