Secret Lists, Squigs, and Five Balloons: a 2000-point Old World Showdown
Secret lists, squigs, and five balloons: a 2000-point Old World showdown
Sometimes army-building starts with a deep tactical plan. Sometimes it starts with one very important sentence:
“Specifically, it’s about squigs.”
And honestly, that set the tone perfectly.
We had one of those great hobby moments where a list idea turns into a mini arms race before a single model hits the table. Stas was clearly in a squig mood, Michał was immediately encouraging the plan, and within minutes we had moved from “should we do this?” to “okay, how do we reveal our lists fairly?”
The most serious possible solution to a very unserious problem
For a brief moment, we considered an army list escrow service.
No, really.
The idea was that Stas would send his list to Ender, Michał would send his list too, and then our trusted neutral third party would release both at the same time. Peak competitive integrity. Peak nonsense. Ender, sensibly, suggested we could just paste them in chat on “three, two, one” because realistically nobody is reading a 2000-point list and rewriting their own in a second.
He was right, of course.
Still, we respect the energy. There is something beautiful about treating goblins on squigs and flying lantern gun platforms with the gravity of international diplomacy.
The lists
In the end, both lists hit the chat more or less simultaneously, and the matchup was immediately hilarious.
Stas: Orc & Goblin Tribes, 2000 pts
Stas brought a list that feels like it was built by someone asking, “what if we mixed solid brutality with a few deeply annoying surprises?”
Highlights:
- Black Orc Warboss on Wyvern loaded with magic items
- Night Goblin Bigboss on Giant Cave Squig
- Level 3 Orc Weirdnob
- Black Orcs, Orc Boyz, and Night Goblins with 3 Fanatics
- 2 Goblin Bolt Throwas
- 2 Doom Diver Catapults
- 10 Boar Boy Big ‘Uns
- 2 Boar Chariots
This is the kind of list that threatens you in several different languages. There is a big hammer in the Warboss on Wyvern, there is pressure from the boar cavalry and chariots, and there is also the deeply greenskin-flavoured promise that at any moment a squig or fanatic might turn the game into a story.
One of our favourite details here is that Stas openly admitted one of the most relatable things in the hobby:
the Night Goblins with fanatics are in the list… and he doesn’t actually own them.
Classic army-building behaviour. The list is spiritually complete before the collection catches up.
Michał: Grand Cathay, 1984 pts
And then Michał revealed the answer to squigs, fanatics, war machines, and a wyvern:
five balloons.
His Grand Cathay list, titled Spartacist Uprising, came in at 1984 points and looked gloriously experimental.
Highlights:
- Lord Magistrate on Sky Lantern
- Shugengan Lord on Great Spirit Longma, Level 4, Lore of Yang + Battle Magic
- Strategist on Sky Lantern
- A block of 20 Jade Lancers with a standard that grants Fear
- Two small units of Jade Warriors
- Three additional Sky Lanterns
So yes: that is five Sky Lanterns total.
When the list landed, the immediate response was basically: “I knew it. How many balloons? Five?”
And the answer was, proudly:
“5 :)”
That kind of commitment deserves respect.
Why we loved this matchup immediately
This is exactly the sort of pairing we enjoy in Warhammer: The Old World. Not because it is clean or symmetrical, but because it is gloriously specific.
On one side:
- wyvern-riding Black Orc boss
- squig-mounted goblin character
- fanatics
- bolt throwers
- doom divers
- boar cavalry
On the other:
- giant cavalry brick of 20 Jade Lancers
- multiple flying lantern platforms
- a mounted wizard lord
- a list described by its own creator as experimental
That is the good stuff.
The little tactical nuggets we immediately started poking at
Once the surprise wore off, the conversation turned into the kind of rules-and-role discussion that always happens when a list is fresh.
A few standout moments:
- Stas pointed out he had brought the squig boss partly because if you are facing a Shugengan, you want something appropriate.
- Michał noticed just how heavily equipped the Orc Warboss was.
- The question came up whether the squig movement worked like fanatics. Answer: not exactly — the Mangler-style randomness affects maximum move, while fanatics have scatter after their initial release turn.
- The 20 Jade Lancers with Fear got an immediate reaction of: this is going to be hardcore.
- Stas looked at his own collection and concluded he might need to buy 10 more boars.
That last one might be the most honest army-building note in the whole exchange.
Army-building in the real world
We also got a very real glimpse of how list-building actually works in a group of hobby friends:
- someone uses New Recruit
- someone asks whether the export should be Text -> NR
- someone else sends a .ros file
- a few hours later the other person says they have no idea what that file is or where to get it
- eventually the export format gets figured out
- months later someone digs through history and confirms: yes, it was 2000 points
This is maybe the least glamorous part of the hobby, but also one of the most universal. Half of army-building is tactics. The other half is fighting list formats and trying to remember what version of the roster was the “real one.”
Our favourite part: both lists had a point
What we really like here is that neither side was just building “good stuff” in the abstract. Both lists had a clear identity.
Stas had a proper Orc & Goblin Tribes mix of aggression, threat overload, and chaos potential. Michał leaned hard into a Grand Cathay concept that feels both funny and dangerous: a strong mounted core, support characters in the air, and an outrageous number of lanterns.
Would five balloons be too many?
That is exactly the kind of question we want answered on the table.
Would the fanatics and war machines be enough to punish that much flying nonsense?
Also a perfect table question.
Would the squig boss actually get somewhere meaningful with that movement profile?
Again: ideal.
Final thought
This was one of those list reveal moments that reminded us why army-building is such a huge part of the fun. Before dice, before deployment, before anyone measures a charge, you already have a story:
- one player says “I’m taking squigs”
- the other effectively replies “cool, I’m bringing five balloons”
That is Warhammer.
If nothing else, this exchange gave us a matchup we would absolutely want to see play out: Orc & Goblin Tribes vs Grand Cathay at 2000 points, with secret-list energy, experimental nonsense, and just enough artillery to make everyone nervous.